I hear screeching and see blue smoke engulf the spinning tires of a car speeding in reverse toward me. The wheels lock up and the car skids to a perfect stop at the curb where I stand. The car's window slides down revealing the most beautiful woman in the entire world.
"Is that an iPhone you're holding?" she asks.
I nod -once, with a subtle wink (because I'm too freakin' cool to talk right now.)
The babe's gaze leaves my iPhone and moves up me, pausing at my chest before our eyes lock. Her lips part slightly and her expression changes from technology-intrigue, to what can only be a deep, burning hunger -for me.
I lean to the car window and say, "Honey, please slow down, or you'll get in an accident." My wife winks back and drives away.
Later, at the office, I sit in a packed conference room. Before the meeting begins, I slide my iPhone out of my pocket and caress the screen, "accidentally" launching a movie.
"Hey! Geoff's got an iPhone?" someone says.
"How did you get one already?" says another. The room falls silent.
I shrug, in no rush to answer, and focus on my movie. "Let's just say I know somebody who knows somebody," I finally mumble. When I look up at my gawking coworkers, they launch into their pathetic begging -to hold and try my iPhone.
After work a stranger approaches me by the elevator. He points to my iPhone and says, "Excuse me, is it true that it has no stylus or buttons?"
I hold up my index finger and blow the tip. "That's my stylus, pal." I point to the elevator buttons. "And those are the only buttons I press while on the road these days."
"Unbelievably cool!" the guy says, backing into his open elevator to prolong his covetous stare my iPhone.
I require ten or more of these glorious scenarios -guaranteed -before I rush out to be first in line to own the over $2,000 iPhone package ($500 or $600 for iphone, plus a two year contract at $60+ bucks a month and that doesn't even factor in the $175 early termination fee T-Mobile snags if I break my contract).
No doubt iPhones will hold the title of sexiest mobile device for some time. But intentional or not, Apple has left lots of room for improvement.
AT&T carries iPhones exclusively -for now. Consumer Reports gives AT&T atrocious marks in customer satisfaction. "Frequent service-related problems were compounded by the company's relatively low mark for helpfulness in handling customer questions and complaints," says the magazine.
The first generation iPhone won't run on AT&T's highest-speed 3G network, but will use the nearly 10x slower 2.5G Edge network. The difference in web browsing speed between these networks compares to the difference between dialup vs. DSL.
Look for your subsequent generations of iPhones to fix all this. That's when the next wave (me and others who have learned to skip first-generation electronics) will get ours. We'll get more for our money and I'm sure we'll love the improved iPhone. But for now, my unrealistic fantasies of being the first to own one suffice.